It’s been a lovely 3 weeks since we brought Amelie into our lives. Aidan has coped surprisingly well with his baby sister’s arrival and never ceases to shower pats and kisses on her. I do get over-protective and constantly nag at Aidan to be *gentle* with Amelie, but I am trying hard to be extra conscious and sensitive to his feelings.
For a four year old, Aidan is quite understanding and doesn’t gripe about mommy lavishing more attention on the new baby, and for that I am thankful. While it is unavoidable that will be moments where he pulls a long face or simply become low-spirited when he feels a little left out of the action – I mean, I would too, if I kept hearing this:
[icon]brook-icon-cancel-circle[/icon] No you can’t feed the baby because she is still too young, she might cough and choke!
[icon]brook-icon-cancel-circle[/icon] You can’t shower the baby, it’s dangerous, the baby might drown!
We are now more mindful of the way we phrase our NOs into rejection infused with positivities…
[icon]brook-icon-checkmark-circle[/icon] Maybe when she is a bit older you can help prepare her milk and feed her?
[icon]brook-icon-checkmark-circle[/icon] How about you observe how Mommy gives baby a bath and you can help to dry her?
[icon]brook-icon-checkmark-circle[/icon] Will you be a darling and help fetch a diaper and a fresh romper for baby Amelie?
And now he is such a good little helper! Aidan rushes to comfort the baby when she cries, and I will give him a cuddle and promptly declare how proud I am of him that he cares for Amelie. Upon hearing this, he never fails to flash his toothy beaming smile at me. For once without a doubt, I feel like I’m navigating this second-time parent business just fine! 🙂
Thankfully friends and family who came to visit were very thoughtful to have brought presents for both the new baby and her big brother, so Aidan is kept happy. We struggle to maintain an environment of normalcy for the kor kor (哥哥) who suddenly realises that he now not only has to share Mom and Dad with the new baby, but *gasp*, visitors too! So this little gesture really goes a long way and helps reduce the stress of adapting to the changes that a new family addition brings for both parents and kid.
We are not sure if this time round we will arrange a full-moon (满月) celebration for Amelie when she turns one month old – from our experience with Aidan these events tend to be quite tiring with throngs of people to entertain and lots of cleaning up to do when everyone leaves. BUT, I can just imagine when Amelie is older she might lament, “Why you all so double standard, do for kor kor never do for ME?!!”